Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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