OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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