if i can run in heels then i can drive
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
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