This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
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