his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize