You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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