Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
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