If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
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In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
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I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
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