tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize