I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize