my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize