Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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