You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I could make wine with my vomit
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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