I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
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