would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize