Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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