she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
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i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Watching her eat just hurts me
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My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
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