it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
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