He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
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