Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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