what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize