I can't breathe out the right side of my face
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Randomize