it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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