dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
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