did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
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