Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
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