Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
Randomize