Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
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