she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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