Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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