at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
You ruined the universe
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize