i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
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He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
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