It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
This girl is more easily done than said...
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
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