Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
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