I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Randomize