Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
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