Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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