he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize