Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I want to fling myself into the sun
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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