I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
me + whiskey = a bad person
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize