...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
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