I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
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nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
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You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
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