make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize