a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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