The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
My dick has a subreddit
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
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