Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
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