just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize