please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize