They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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