R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
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I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
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Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
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